Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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