CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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