pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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