I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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