He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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