So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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