I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
