Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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