VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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