it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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