Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
