You're so nebulous sometimes
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
