would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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