Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
