Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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