fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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