his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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