so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
