How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
