PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
