idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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