My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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