We're facebook friends in real life
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
