lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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