you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
