I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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