Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
