I heard we made out
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
