Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
