Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
