so that wasnt chicken after all
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
