trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
