Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
