I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's rum buckets o'clock
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
