just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
