we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
