I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
