do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
