Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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