We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize