D3 body, D1 cock
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Randomize
