We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
