i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
