first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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