did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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