..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
