i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
