booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
