kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize