We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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