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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg no way im finding him!

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.

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• (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'

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• (914): View more from New York

  every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.

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• (916): View more from California

  this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse

  (1-916): View more from California

  People like that make this world a better place.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  How long until you're healed?

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.

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• (310): View more from California

  She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed

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