Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
