That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i out mim tonsoeep
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