I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
