I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You don't make any sense
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