garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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