To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
