He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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