my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
