I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
