so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
