you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize