ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You were trust falling into bushes
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
