Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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