I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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