Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
